We all have conversations with ourselves, most of them occurring within the privacy of our thoughts. During these conversations we make decisions, argue, criticize, judge, and determine the course of every aspect of our lives and this creates our reality as well as determines how others will connect with and relate to us. This inner dialogue plays an important part in our lives and unfortunately, it is mostly negative. We often don’t need someone in our lives to be mean to, criticize and judge us; we do a good job of that ourselves. And we can talk ourselves out of a situation before we even allow it to unfold. This inner dialogue can follow one of two paths: it can be static, keeping us in the same, old, negative mindset, pushing us down as soon as we try to get up, or it can be dynamic, expansive, moving us forward, and acting as a positive, uplifting force in our lives.
If our inner dialogue is static, it reflects our fears and doubts. For example, when you look in the mirror, do you say ‘I look great today.’ Or do you say ‘I’m overweight, look old, I hate my hair, could use a new face’, etc.? This static dialogue keeps us stuck in the same old patterns of thinking and behaving. And in order to move ourselves out of it we must change the way we talk to ourselves, then that will be reflected in the way others talk to and about us. Even though our inner dialogue is mostly private, it has an energy of its own that others pick up on. Have you noticed that if you don’t feel good about your appearance, someone will make a remark to that effect? They’re picking up on the negative energy that you are generating from your static inner dialogue.
When our inner dialogue is dynamic, it takes our fears and doubts into consideration and then moves on anyway. So, a dynamic inner dialogue would find one good thing about your appearance, no matter how small, and focus on that. Yes, you may be overweight but you have a great smile, for example, or you dress well, you are kind, have great hair, or always have something nice to say to everyone. When our inner dialogue is dynamic it creates positive energy around us so that others must respond to us in a positive way. Dynamic inner dialogue creates the energy that we need to make changes in our lives. What is the difference between the two? Imagine going on a job interview and you really want the job. You are sitting in front of the hiring manager, saying all of the right things, wearing the right clothes, but your inner dialogue is saying ‘I know I’m not going to get this job.’ What do you think the interviewer is picking up on that she will use in making the hiring decision?
This is what happens when you are trying to make positive external changes and your inner dialogue is static, or negative. It’s like trying to drive a car with one foot on the gas pedal and one foot on the brake pedal. You alternate between moving forward and stopping and not getting anywhere easily, quickly, or gracefully. The focus of our inner dialogue determines the course of our lives so we need to ensure that it is positive and dynamic, reaffirming our worth, value and perfection, staying away from criticism, judgment and negativity.
Each time a fear comes up, acknowledge it-you know it’s there so don’t try to hide or ignore it. Then find a way to change it from static to dynamic so that you can move forward through it and create what you want in your life. Once your inner dialogue is dynamic, the outer you will radiate self- confidence and joy, and you will attract people, experiences and situations that mirror the positive energy you are creating around you. This week, review your inner dialogue. Is it static or dynamic, critical or loving? Don’t judge yourself, just change the negative, judgmental, critical dialogue to one that is positive, self-affirming, and loving and watch how that change is reflected in your life and in how others relate to you.
Copyright (c) 2014 by Jennifer Hoffman